Pincecrest Diner

Pinecrest Diner
401 Geary at Mason
415-885-6407

The Pinecrest is a 24 hour diner with a past, and what a past it is if you’re a devotee of poached eggs. Although the Pinecrest has been around the perimeter of Union Square and the tenderloin for many decades, in 1997 it was home to a murder that left a 20 year veteran waitress dead from a volley of bullets shot across the counter by the cook who had also worked there at least 20 years. There are a variety of versions of this tale, but apparently the cook owed the waitress money and hated preparing poached eggs which weren’t even on the menu. The waitress took an order for poached eggs and taunted the cook who left momentarily to get his gun, returned and shot her five times, killing her once and for all. Back to burgers and let me tell you the Pinecrest version ain’t good and it ain’t bad, just a fair to middling previously frozen meat patty pulled from a stainless drawer under the grill and cooked the way all once frozen meat is and tasting that cardboard kind of way. The sesame seeded bun is lightly grilled and two slices of American cheese are melted just right and its plated with head lettuce, a couple slices of tomato and a pickle spear and slid across the hard vinyl counter to where you’re gonna eat. It comes with good thin cut fries, also previously frozen, but cooked with care and served hot. The condiments are French’s mustard, Heinz catsup and a good, high quality mayonnaise so it’s pretty good except for the beef.

The diner lacks charm of any kind and could easily have been designed by a color blind fancier of blandness and tastelessness. It’s an oblong room featuring a faux burl wood counter running the length of the room and plum colored booths around the sides and front and windows along the front and side. Behind the counter it is all stainless kitchen, and the floor is covered with a matted green carpet that could pass for thousand year old felt. The décor consists of two or three framed five and dime faux oil paintings that are cardboard reproductions and a few cheap fake flower arrangements. It’s not dirty, just shabby and it’s almost empty until a sold out theater offering at ACT or The Curran lets out and a gaggle of tourists or club goers from Biscuits and Blues or Ruby Skyy leave drunk and famished from one of those nearby clubs. It’s decent food, almost no ambience or atmosphere, other worldly service and no character. The burger is perfect for anyone with low expectations or who despises burgers in the first place.